Musical Talent and Self Esteem
Being told that one has no musical talent can be emotionally and psychologically damaging to a person, and influence decisions to pursue music as a hobby or career. While there are other types of hobbies and careers that require skill and savvy, few seem to elicit the same negative emotional response as the belief that one is not musically talented or inclined.
There are those of us who are athletes, mathematicians, physicians, educators, scientists, business executives, etc. If a person is not good at math or is not able to run fast for example, there may be feelings of inadequacy that can affect the person’s viability in fields related to these skills. When someone is not good at music, particularly singing, there are the added components of ridicule and criticism (perceived or quite real).
This may have an even greater negative effect on one’s desire to pursue the arts than when deciding whether or not to pursue a traditional career discipline. Musical talent represents much more to people than just the ability to create attractive sounds. There’s a tremendous emotional component. Having musical talent vs. not having it may influence a person’s feelings of self-worth due to talent being associated with a certain glory evident in our culture today.
In today’s culture, talent is associated with wealth and fame and being regarded as special and unique in some way. People who have obvious talent get attention and are viewed as having something special. When those who try to emulate this do not succeed or are told point blank that they have no talent, they may feel left out of receiving this special type of positive validation. Students seeking lessons often begin with feelings of trepidation and a lack of confidence due to preconceived notions about themselves. This can be more crippling than a student’s actual level of ability.
This "no talent belief" often starts in childhood. Robert (a client) was in first grade and was asked along with the other children to individually come up and follow a melody the teacher played on the piano. According to what they sang, she separated them into the you can sing/you can’t sing sides of the room, the latter being where he was sent. This incident convinced him that he had no talent, and was a major obstacle when he sought out and began voice lessons later in life. It was compounded even more by a thoughtless comment made in passing by his mother: "you’re tone deaf." Let’s keep in mind that a true educator would never help a child discover their talents in such a callous, damaging way, and that his mother had no background in the performing arts. Yet these two comments made by those who probably didn’t have any malicious intent profoundly influenced Robert’s self-esteem.
People often allow incidents like this to discourage them from pursuing their musical dreams. More often than not, a lack of obvious talent has more to do with our belief system than our actual ability. While there are mechanics and a genetic predisposition that influence the ability to sing and play musical instruments, musical ability is largely emotional, psychological, and driven by desire.
Dispelling the belief that one has no ability can open the floodgates to talent that would otherwise not have the opportunity to emerge. New musicians should surround themselves with other like minded people, not leave themselves open to criticism by asking those around them (particularly those with no music background) how they sound, send a clear message that their music is important to them, find supportive coaches whose teaching methods are self-esteem supporting, and not react to the jokes and snickering (often times people who are critical who are just trying to get a rise out of us) of others.
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